Eavesdropping
by Gwendolyn James
Summary: Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves, Ron Weasley." One-shot.


Disclaimer: Mine! Wheeeeee! Oh wait, I'm not a rich and famous author. Dangit.

A/N: This one is for Nim and Elf, who kindly allowed me to make their requested drabbles into one fic. I loff you!

* * *

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Dunno. What do _you_ want to do?"

Harry groaned. "Well, we've got to do _something_. I'm bored out of my mind."

Ron flopped down onto the nearest chair and rolled his eyes. "Wanna go flying?"

"Ron, there's a blizzard outside."

"Oh, right. Er… Wanna play chess?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure. Might as well."

Ten minutes later, Ron and Harry had the chess board set up in the middle of the floor. "What do you suppose they _do_ every week?" Ron asked.

"I don't think I want to know, actually," Harry replied as he watched Ron move his pawn across the board.

"Neither do _I_," Ron said defensively. "Just curious, that's all."

Harry grinned. "Why don't you just _ask_ them what they do?"

"Oh, right," Ron replied sarcastically. "I can just imagine it now. 'Hermione, what do you girls do every Friday night that Harry and I aren't allowed to be a part of?' 'That's none of your business, Ronald! If we wanted you to know, we would have told you!'"

Harry laughed at Ron's perfect impression of Hermione. "All right, then, ask Ginny or Luna."

Ron's eyes widened in mock terror. "I don't even want to _think_ about what Ginny would do to me if I asked her, and, quite frankly, Luna's a bit scary."

Harry moved his knight with a grin. "She's not scary. You've just got to get used to her."

Ron rolled his eyes. "I really _don't_ want to know what they're doing."

"Mm-hmm," Harry murmured.

"I don't."

"If you say so."

* * *

"You're joking, aren't you?"

Ginny giggled and shook her head. "No, really!"

Hermione grimaced. "I don't want to think about Snape taking love potions, thanks."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "I'd be more concerned about him _giving_ love potions, actually."

This sent Ginny into another fit of giggles, but Hermione groaned. "Luna, that's awful."

Luna shrugged. "It's true."

Hermione scooted her chair closer to the desk and grabbed a piece of Honeydukes chocolate. "Can we change the subject, please?"

Ginny, who had finally managed to catch her breath, popped a candy into her mouth and grinned. "We could talk about who _you_ want to give a love potion to. How does that sound?"

Hermione scowled and threw a marshmallow at her friend. "Shush, Ginny."

"Oh, come on," Ginny laughed. "It's not like we don't know."

"Who was in charge of bringing the healthy snacks?" Luna asked as she eyed the food with a serious expression.

Hermione stuck out her tongue at Ginny and said, "You were, Luna, remember?"

Luna nodded. "Of course," she sighed, standing and brushing off her robes. "I'll go to the kitchens and get some. Do you want anything?"

"Hermione wants a banana," Ginny smirked.

A cry of indignation rang out. "Ginevra Weasley! What would your mother say?" Hermione demanded.

Ginny waggled her eyebrows. "Nothing compared to what my brother would say if he knew."

"Don't you _dare_!" Hermione shrieked. "If you tell Ron, I'll turn you into a… a _toad_!"

Ginny feigned innocence. "Who said anything about Ron? I was talking about Percy!"

Hermione burst into laughter and tossed another marshmallow at Ginny. "You're awful."

"So I've been told."

Luna smiled. "So, a banana for Hermione, then?"

"No!" Hermione groaned. "No bananas!"

* * *

"Ron, sit down."

"Do you think they talk about us?"

"I doubt it." Harry sighed. "Can we finish the game, please?"

Ron frowned and continued pacing. "They _must_… I mean, why else would they leave us out?"

"They probably talk about _girl_ things, Ron, and to be honest, I'd rather not know."

Ron stopped in his tracks and grinned. "I've got it."

Harry made a face. "I'm afraid to ask."

"I'll just tell you, then." Ron gave him a conspiratorial look. "The cloak."

Harry groaned. "No, Ron, come on…"

"It's brilliant! We'll hide under the cloak and listen to what they say about us!"

Harry shook his head. "No. If Hermione and Ginny find out, we'll be dead."

"They won't find out," Ron said matter-of-factly. "That's what the cloak is for. Come on."

Five minutes later, both boys were safely concealed beneath the invisibility cloak and were making their way down the corridors. "This is ridiculous, Ron," Harry whispered in exasperation. "They're going to catch us and then murder us in cold blood."

Ron ignored him. "Just down this way, I think."

"You have no idea where they are, do you?" It was more of a statement than a question, and even Ron couldn't miss Harry's annoyance this time.

"Aren't you even the least bit curious about what they're doing?" Ron asked.

"No, I'm not," Harry replied. "I want to go back to the dormitory and finish our chess match."

"Later," Ron nodded absently. He put out a hand to stop Harry's movement. "Look, there's Luna."

Harry peered through the shimmering folds of the cloak and saw Luna coming around the corner, a large basket of what appeared to be fruit in her arms. She paid no attention to them as she reached out to open a classroom door.

Ron nudged Harry with his elbow. "Come on. Let's follow her."

"This is _not_ a good idea." Harry muttered.

* * *

"Someone is outside."

Hermione looked up. "Sorry, what?"

"Someone is outside," Luna repeated calmly. "Under an invisibility cloak, I believe."

Ginny gave Hermione a look. "Ron."

"And Harry, I'd imagine." Hermione scowled.

Suddenly Ginny grinned. "I have an idea. Luna, open the door again and say that it's too stuffy in here or something. Hermione, just follow my lead."

Luna did as was requested and then returned to the table. Ginny yawned in an exaggerated fashion and said, "I hardly slept at all last night!"

Hermione frowned in concern. "What was the problem?"

"I had a very strange dream," Ginny replied. "I'm rather concerned about it, actually."

"Oh?" Hermione nodded seriously. "What was it about?"

Ginny leaned forward and said in a stage whisper, "Harry."

The girls heard a sharp intake of breath from the corner of the room and struggled to maintain serious expressions. "You had a dream about Harry?" Hermione asked, feigning shock. "What happened exactly?"

Ginny sat back in her chair and shook her head. "It's a bit fuzzy, but I do believe that in the dream Harry and I were married."

Hermione bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Well, as you know, I'm a firm believer that dreams should be taken literally." She gave a superior nod. "It's obviously an extension of your deep feelings for Harry."

Ginny put a hand to her head and sighed dramatically. "But what should I do?" she asked. "I'm madly in love with him, Hermione! How shall I ever tell him?"

"You must tell him straightaway," Luna said serenely. "He needs to know."

Hermione nodded in agreement. "Oh, yes, definitely. Tell him that you love him and that you simply can't live without him. I'm sure he'll propose on the spot."

Ginny grinned. "Do you really think so?"

"Of course," Hermione replied. "You two can get married after you graduate and start having a family right away."

"It's perfect!" Ginny exclaimed blissfully. "I'll have to owl Mum so she can start planning the wedding!" She paused and frowned suddenly. "Oh, but what will my brothers say?"

"Well, I should hope that they would be happy for you," Hermione said sternly. "Your brothers love you, and they should be mature enough to handle your love for Harry."

"They _should_ be," Ginny said dryly. "I'm not so sure, though."

"Hmm, you could be right," Hermione agreed. "Especially Ron – I think he'll take it the hardest."

"Oh, yes," Luna concurred. "Ronald is rather protective, isn't he?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That's an understatement. Ron is a complete git when it comes to his sister. You'd think he would want her to be happy, but no, he is determined to ruin her life by not letting her experience anything."

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far," Ginny said. "He _did_ let me go to the Yule Ball with Neville."

"Only because he knew that you and Neville were only friends. When he finds out that you and Harry are in love, he'll throw a fit." Hermione sighed. "You and Harry would be better running off together. That way Ron can't stop you."

"Do you really think he would try to stop us from getting married?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes, I believe he would. I don't mean to offend you, Ginny, but your brother is the most stubborn, pig-headed prat I've ever had the misfortune to meet. I honestly don't know how you've put up with him all these years."

"Well, he's family. I _have_ to love him."

They heard a grunt from the corner of the room. Hermione put her head in her hands so that the boys wouldn't see her shaking with silent laughter. "Oh, Ginny!" she cried. "You don't see it, do you? You don't see how your brother is ruining your very happiness! He's a monster!"

"But what can I do?" Ginny asked desperately. "I must be with Harry, even if Ron objects!"

Luna patted Ginny's hand reassuringly. "It will be all right. Hermione and I will take care of Ron. You just worry about telling Harry the truth of your feelings."

Ginny, who had somehow managed to work up very real-looking tears, exclaimed, "I have to tell him! I won't let anyone get in the way of true love!"

Luna stood in determination. "We will do whatever it takes to keep you and Harry together, Ginny."

Hermione stood as well, hands on her hips. "No insensitive wart of a brother can stop the path of love!"

Ginny joined them with a resolute nod. "You're right! I'll tell Harry that I love him and I'll tell Ron that he shall never stand in the way of my happiness!"

"When will you tell them?" Luna asked.

"Right now!" Ginny declared. "As soon as they get out from under that invisibility cloak!"

There was a shuffle of activity from the corner and the cloak fell to the floor, revealing two indignant young men. "What in Merlin's name is going on here?" Ron demanded.

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at him. "Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves, Ron Weasley."

"You knew we were there the whole time?"

"Of course we did, you git!" Ginny exclaimed. "We're not stupid."

Harry gave Ron an angry look. "I _told_ you it was a bad idea."

Ron scowled. "And _I_ told _you_ that they were talking about us!"

"The point is," Hermione interrupted, "that you two shouldn't have been spying on us!"

The boys at least had the grace to look properly ashamed. "We're sorry," Harry muttered. "It was Ron's idea."

"Was not." Ron elbowed Harry in the ribs.

"Was too. You practically dragged me here!"

"It doesn't matter," Ginny scolded. "Just promise that you won't ever spy on us again!"

Ron frowned. "We promise."

Harry nodded. "Promise."

"What do you girls _do_ every week, anyway?" Ron asked.

Hermione shrugged. "We eat chocolate, talk about our classes, tell stories… you know, _girl_ stuff."

"Told you so," Harry muttered. "_Girl_ stuff."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Ron replied.

Ginny grinned. "Well, since you're here…" She exchanged a look with the other girls. "Do you want to stay? We've got chocolate."

"And bananas," added Luna.

Hermione groaned. "No! No bananas!"

Harry and Ron merely looked at each other in confusion as the girls burst into laughter.

FIN

* * *

A/N: Yes, this fic is incredibly random... Nim wanted to see Harry and Ron doing some male bonding, and Elf wanted girl talk that included "bananas", R.Hr, and dreams. So there you have it. Please review and make my day!  



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